By Fjolla Arifi
T is a 26-year-old, cisgender, straight, white, middle-class, Jewish woman living in New York. As a Ph.D. student, she discusses her experience going to interviews before and after getting engaged. T understands her privilege but addresses the issues of a gendered America, comparing her interview experiences to of a man’s. Where one in three women remove their wedding rings before an interview, the American Dream contradicts family and opportunity for women.
Walking into my interview
Wearing a long skirt and blouse
I remove my engagement ring.
To avoid bringing up my spouse
He looks at my ring finger
And crosses it off his checklist
No children, paid maternity leave
Or chances of being dismissed
The woman is labeled as high-maintenance and unavailable
While the man with a ring is called loyal and unassailable
To assume my marital status
And my future with kids will strike
And take away the opportunities
For all women alike
The American Dream
Where family is a mutual goal
For women has to be hidden
While men face no damage control
Where one in three women
Hide their wedding rings
A sign of future availability
And the opportunities it brings
The American Dream
Where equality and opportunities are met
Fails to consider
Those discriminated, it will forget
My name holds a value
It won’t be used against
While names that are different
Come with an expense
The fear of discrimination enters my mind
My resume is filled with qualifications
But ‘male or female’ it hasn’t outshined
Despite being a woman
I know the privilege I hold For my race and my class
I won’t have to withhold
For some, it will make or break
And other checkboxes will decide their fate
With the inability to start with a clean slate
Today I will walk with my engagement ring on
With it, they have fears that I will soon be gone
Despite getting the job
Every action has to prove that
I am enough and equate
To counterparts who think
I have nothing to militate
The American Dream
For those who rise to the top
Alienating those with obstacles
That comes with race, gender, and class won’t stop
The American Dream
A chance for a change is taught in the classroom
Hard work entails
But for whom?
T is…
- 26 Years-Old
- Female, Cisgender
- White
- Heterosexual